we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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