We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
