There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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