and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
