Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
