It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
