margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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