I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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