we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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