yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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