Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
