I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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