if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
