I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
