my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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