A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
