I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
