She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
