I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
