the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
