i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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