no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
