What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
