Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
