I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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