He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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