Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
