This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
