I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
