Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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