I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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