My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
