My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I could make wine with my vomit
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
