the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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