I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
