My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
