i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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