God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
