so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
