Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
