wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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