The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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