My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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