Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
