I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
