I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
