Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you still have your period?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Randomize
