I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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