brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
