Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
