How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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