Swine flu. Run for my life!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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