she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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