grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
