you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
